1. All who think that Kim and Kroy will get a spinoff say “I”! For real, don’t you love how she’s just the wholesome MILF now?
2. All that money Kim spends on shenanigans, she could’ve paid a good trainer like Kandi’s. Instead, she chooses to walk around like a mummy while Kroy looks at her like a dumb ass…a dumb ass he’ll still have sex with regardless. (No shower? We’ll work it out.)
3. Kandi: “I know I need to get a man, and I can’t be all like ‘Hey, hey, hey!’”
4. Baby Kroy’s got grown man farts.
5. Also, don’t you love the weight loss parallel? Kandi looking like she’s on “The Biggest Loser”. Kim just looking like a big loser. (“You’ve lost 10 ½ inches…of water!”)
6. Marlo sashays to the door and lets NeNe in like those wrenches are on an episode of MTV Cribs. For some reason, the song “Tony Montana” was playing in my head as she showed off her home. Or maybe it was just all the security cameras. Don’t laugh. If you had priors, you’d want to know who’s rolling up to your door, too. And if Marlo has a “staff,” Kandi should have Oprah’s chef on speed dial.
7. Marlo to NeNe (paraphrase): “Here wrench, take this bag as a parting gift. I have plenty.”
8. When Peter said, “You’re going away for 10 days with your girlfriends,” Cynthia could’ve easily come back with something like, “So? You’ll have plenty of rice.” However, he could’ve also hit her with, “Will you at least leave me some pancakes and syrup, Aunt Jemima?” (Her outfit was NOT pimpin’.) But for real, he better let her take that trip and get that show money.
9. Peter on Kim (paraphrase): She wouldn’t be caught dead around so many black folk. She doesn’t even live in the city of Atlanta. She lives on the outskirts.
10. So do we know what Apollo does for a living? Was that cleared up?
11. What’s NeNe doing with the gay version of Baby?
12. With a rap sheet as long as Marlo Furniture’s, I’d be putting folks in their place, too.
13. NeNe! Damn, Trump money can’t buy no earrings at the Captain Planet function last week or no necklaces at the high-end boutique? But I thought we were “very rich”?
14. Sweetie (paraphrase): “$400 in rose petals to waste…” and I’m not getting paid sh*t. And Kim is so hard on Sweetie. I’m sure she has that poor girl doing all sorts of things that are outside the scope of her job description. Kim would probably have her breastfeeding if it were socially acceptable. Or possible.
15. Kroy saw the candles and bath water and knew it was boot-knocking time. However, when he saw Kim’s dad standing in the master suite, Kroy’s penis was instantly limp.
16. Did Apollo not jump Phaedra in the back of the limo? There was probably an oral transaction that took place that was cut in post-production. Poor limo driver.
17. Kim was drinking upside down to get rid of her hiccups? She looked like she was snorting coke. Take nine gulps of water (standing upright) like decent folk.